It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
