Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
