I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
