I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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