If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
