What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize
