You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
