JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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