No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
