the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
