I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Who wears a wallet chain?!
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
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