i think my tv is drunk
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
