Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
