omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
this is an emotional support booty call
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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