Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Panties = found
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