you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
