we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
