btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
