Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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