the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
