just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
