umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
