found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
