So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
