do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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