Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
