Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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