I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
there is glitter all over my balls
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