If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
