I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
