super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
