A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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