Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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