stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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