As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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