"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
