Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
