The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
