im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
