At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize