I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
