I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
