so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
