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WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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