This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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