she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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