I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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