This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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