There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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