Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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