trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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