The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
