1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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