As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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