Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌ðŸ»ï¸
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize