I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
